‘How could she write such a piece of thing?’, questioned my English teacher with an exclamation over her head. I wished to concur with her right away but the editorial boy who stood behind silently signaled me not to speak any word. And the work got published in our school’s editorial magazine under my forge ‘credit’. I never wanted that but he could only find this way to impress me; even he knew I could never write such a thing!
But do the world has all the prowess to know everything about you??
‘I have always wanted to express with no aim to impress anyone‘, that’s how I began blogging over a decade ago. I simply wanted to vent out the mammoth of emotions I was undergoing through then with no idea of whom to share with; I was too scared as well as hesitant to share my life with anyone and so after a while I decided that there can’t be better than sharing with my own self in an evolving web-space that no one could track! And wouldn’t be it a great idea to turn back the pages of my life in years to come and see through a beautiful glimpse of my past life?
Over the time, I tried to spend more time on blogging but due to lack of knowledge in this field, I soon got lost in the glam and systematic webpages around. But I somehow maintained my sanity by blogging periodically and began sharing my pages with my boyfriend and he being a true critic, always highlighted where I needed to improve!
I have always believed that I have plenty of experiences to share and my imagination has some crude honesty that many people find easy to relate with but I lack that grease, that free flow that can bind the readers and persuade them to read me for a long time. This is where I lack from rest of the bloggers, like I said I need to learn that glam and patterns. I have always been serious about blogging but never ever I thought to turn it into a profession.
Today as a homemake and managing my two kids, I often think about making blogging as an alternative career but then my shortcomings hurl me out! I feel I just can’t be, because I’m still lost somewhere with the basic principle of expressing and not impressing! Two years back I concurrently started writing for Momspresso (then mycity4kids), honestly the platform gave me a louder wise, a bigger reach. Many Mums started recognizing my words and could relate to me, and I had almost reached proclaiming myself as an established Mom-Blogger and then suddenly a paradigm shift happened!!
That was the sudden wave of Instagram and micro-blogging, where we can upload a dazzling picture and paste some copy, inspired or fragmented lines and we claim ourselves as the enhanced version of Bloggers. It was no more about connecting through emotions but more through ‘reel-life’; more glam, better the visibility!!..And here what happened again, I stumbled back again with limited followers, photogenic pictures, brands campaigning and networking; I lost track to the extent that I decided to quit midway couple of months back. I just can’t speak lies and microblog about the products I have never used (will never use) or the services that I rather found pretty expensive or non-relevant or even necessary. Then why do people would want to read me, what purpose will I solve for them ? Yes there was a time like till an year back when I would talk about motherhood and it’s challenges, but today as every second Mum is online then hey who want to hear my shit?
I’m neither a healer or practitioner leave alone the traits of any influencer/ expert/ model / presenter then what’s left in me for the reader to look for?
After a month or so I have come to the realization that I’m actually correctly placed where I was before, if I remain sticking to my roots and writing in mind to comfort only me. Maybe I can still be the best audience for myself and yet I still need more time to expand my community but if I could stick to the basics, there can never be any stopping.
So my blog space is all about my reflection, it about stories that I could never speak otherwise but I still can write down in broken words with a composite flair. It doesn’t need to tell you anything, won’t inspire you and wouldn’t land you anywhere; but maybe it will bring you one step close to my heart! I only aim to write for myself, like creating a memoir.
What about you, what does your page represents?