Vicious cycle of relationship

The last time I saw him was in the office’s pantry, he tried to smile his best but I set myself aback. There were just few days left of my notice period and I didn’t wanted to ruin my future. Any sign of reciprocation would mean the re-occurrences of the incidents, and any silly mistake or retaliation could haunt me forever!


Two years back when I joined this organisation, everything looked like a dream and then I saw him; his face seemed unforgettable. He was my senior in the team and always carried an infectious smile and exuberant aura at work; I found it challenging to not notice him but he never noticed my presence. He was always busy with some or other work and I sensed that he was deliberately ignoring me; that didn’t sound good and I couldn’t understand the reason. Over the period of time I learnt to carry a spawn face with a deep intriguing for him . And then came a wonderful opportunity for both of us when our boss had chosen both of us to travel together for 2 days!

‘Have fun dear, you aren’t going to have another chance with the most ‘hot’ guy of our office‘; my colleagues teased me but the stern look I gave back to them, they dared not uttered any word after. However within my own space I was already flattered to be with him but then to my utter shock what he actually did in the business trip was ‘nothing’. We came back on the third day with nothing to laugh or whisper or giggle about; I concluded that he wasn’t at all interested in me and my heart felt broken without even a chance to prove.

After a month or so at an office-after party in the middle of my second Martini, I got one message; that was him. ‘Would you like to go for a ‘not-so-boring’ with a ‘not-so-boring guy?’, I noticed that was the first time he gave me a smile; I couldn’t say no. I silently sneaked out of the party and as I came out I saw him waiting for me while his car’s door was opened. At that time I never even imagined that the dream I was weaving is soon going to drown me into a vicious cycle where there won’t be any escape!

We talked the entire night and as we sat close to each other, I could feel how his words spoke anything but his heart. He looked genuine and charming and I couldn’t ask for anything more. We began to meet more and more often, from the restaurants to his beautiful surprises and finally at his sweet abode one day. He held my hands closely and looked straight into my eyes; and I realized that I actually had fallen in love with him. I wanted to utter my feelings but before I could say anything; he slapped right into my face. It hit hard!

He hit me again and again, before I could understand he had already taken the charge, minutes after I passed out. When I regained my consciousness I saw him panting and hiding his face under his arms. My one part wanted to check on him but my fears pushed me out of his house and I literally ran away with the full-speed. As if that wasn’t enough he knocked at my door in the evening, I was horrified but when he didn’t stop crying I let him in. Even in my wildest dreams I had never expected myself in that picture.

He gushed inside my house like a big wave and cuddled me tightly to bestow immeasurable pecks upon me. That was an insane moment while I let everything go except him; I definitely was in love. When we woke up, he told me that I reminded him of his ex-girlfriend who had cheated upon her despite his deep love for her and that had left him completely broken.

‘So this is the reason you had to hit me’, I was in the mess already.

He burst out apologetically ‘ No No, absolutely no. I was such an idiot, you hit me as much as you want to but please don’t ever leave me. Please stay, I can’t let you go; you are my everything’.

You meet someone who at first showers you with gifts and declarations of love, but soon your significant other becomes possessive and tries to control you. This can be physical abuse, verbal abuse or both. Your friends see something is the matter, but you refuse to listen or see what is happening right in front of your eyes. You claims you love the abuser, in whom there is good as well as bad, but you continue to be unhappy. 

For the next one year, I stayed in exactly the same kind of relationship with him. Each time when he gave me the pain, he had a reason to suffice and an excuse of loving me to move on. And I watched the entire time like a mere spectator before I could realize that there was never any love from his end and mine was already finished by then!

That was the day I decided to take the stand, I didn’t turned back again!

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This story has knocked my mind quite often so I though to pen it down as part of the #blogchattera2z challenge in the alphabetic series for ‘V’. Did you liked it, I will appreciate if you can mention the flaws and the suggestions you would like to give me to improve.

Lots of love.

***********************************************************************

Image Source:
https://www.heysigmund.com/relationships-when-family-hurts/

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Today I have started to live a new life. Today I aim to look beyond what's apparent and wish to explore a new world. Today I feel like to dive into an ocean of thoughts. Today I have realized that there was there was never any yesterday for me, its been always today!! My world encircles around my baby, biggy-baby (i.e my hubby) and my thoughts. Whether I'm free or occupied with stuff, I always think, dream about my thoughts, feelings and enjoy when my words gain visibility. I'm not any writer but recently I have fallen in love with writing and since then, this love is gaining momentum with every moment!! You can also read my blogs at : http://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/droplets-of-thoughts-of-a-mum-wife-woman-and-much-more http://sweetberriesoflife.blogspot.in/

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