Love after Kids- A lot can still happen

Marriage is a beautiful phenomenon and full of memories. When I was getting married, I still remember how my family members were teasing me, especially my Maamis ( my mother’s sister-in-laws), ‘ Enjoy your phase as much as can, later on with kids marriage and man, both turn unsavoury!’ I
shied away as they were just pulling my legs, and even on my mind I was tranquil about any such worries; after all mine was a love-marriage!

Seven years and with two cute kids, my life now feels full and blessed; but as they said yes my life has turned humdrum similar like any other family with kids. Although we don’t fight and we do support and care for each other but there are no of instances when we miss out to bring our focus back. You may wonder why I’m writing all this and sharing with you, guys this is important.

If I’m sad in my love life or stressed with an argument; then it has a direct impact upon I how act as a mother. Yes does that happen with you too??

Means If I’m not happy as a wife or lover, I can’t feel my happiness or be content as a mother. So for me LOVE is extremely important!

But as I discussed in my previous blog, there is deep stigma attached to expression of love by parents; so that needs to change. So what we all can do:

Let the woman of the house sleep: Yes, this is one of the main reason why a woman may lost her interest in intimacy or even binge-watching your favorite show with you. A new mother isn’t lazy or doesn’t hate love either, but she needs energy to spend time you as well as take care of the kids 24×7 rather staying exhaused and overburdened all the time! And how the woman can catch some sleep, well I have found some very useful link here, click to know more!

Talk and talk more, even if you are angry, annoyed or a highly- attitude personality: What will the point of showing your emotions if there won’t be anyone around you? So even if you are upset, let the other partner know the reasons and how you want the things to settle down; trust me it helps if not in all the cases then maybe in 5 out of 10!

Don’t be shy: Do you feel shy to kiss your wife before leaving for the office or holding her hands in front of the kids, giving her a hug in front of others, sipping from the same glass, eating together or looking at each other’s eyes with love; why? Are you doing a crime or you think it will leave a bad impression upon the kids? Don’t we want our kids to see their parents in love, believe in the institution of marriage and find someone alike when they will grow up? Are we afraid of our parents, neighbors, friends or our own self? Too many questions right? But then why expression of love still a question in our mind?

Go out : Okay no neither you need to be a couch-potato or a vacation-planner but just go out and meet like-minded people; the ones who are experiencing the same situations and can advice you. Not the brigade of bachelors who will laugh at you like a scapegoat and make you feel if marrying and kids were the most heinous crime that you have ever done!

Better to ask such people to be babysit your kids and you go out with your partner for a datenight or romantic candle light dinner 🙂 🙂

Don’t poke at each other’s dressing or personality style: Parenting can also load you with extra pounds or prodding belly and not only mothers but fathers may also undergo change in their looks due to constant fatigue and lack of self-care. So you might feel your self-confidence at the lowest level so this is the time when you don’t question about each other’s looks and how they are dressing up. Let your partner dress up the way he or she wants to, don’t barge in orthodox norms because how much respect you will give, will give a long way in building up long-lasting relationships with your partner.

Surprise and gifts, this is the time: Celebrated enough of the valentine gifs and anniversary holidays? This is the real time to go as much as innovative you can with a personal touch. Imagine a situation when you have a target to achieve but you find that work is monotonous and time-consuming; how can you feel yourself motivated? You expect a surprise incentive or bonus from your employer to keep it going , parenting is even more challenging; probably the most difficult job ever! So you need to pamper the partner who is doing everything to make this project going and successful!

Encourage your partner: Everybody wants to be loved but where is love? Love lies behind trust, care and happiness. The day when I get some me-time makes me feel that my life is more than motherhood and not just cleaning the poos and feeding the hungry bums! Even just 15 mins, but it’s only possible when my partner supports me or I have an extra-hand at home. But it works wonder!

I would have shared endless suggestions online by molding few words here and there but the mater of fact is when it comes to reality; we still don’t find what to do to make our relationship work!

But the one thing that always work with us when we act less like adults and more like kids? Yes because kids are carefree and do exactly what they wanna do without any pre-conceived thoughts, biased judgments and fear! So just add a little more fun in your life, and the love will automatically stay..

Do you also have some suggestions or experiences that have worked wonder in your relationship? Please share, I shall be glad to know and incorporate them in my life.

Stay tuned…

Lots of love.

***********************************************************************

This blog is part of the #a2zblogchatter challenge hosted by Blogchatter and 12th in the series. To read the previous blog, click below:

https://mydailycupoflife.com/2019/04/12/kids-how-do-children-affect-relationships/

Image source:
https://www.deseretnews.com/article/865656535/American-parents-have-biggest-happiness-gap-of-22-countries-but-employers-could-change-that.html

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Today I have started to live a new life. Today I aim to look beyond what's apparent and wish to explore a new world. Today I feel like to dive into an ocean of thoughts. Today I have realized that there was there was never any yesterday for me, its been always today!! My world encircles around my baby, biggy-baby (i.e my hubby) and my thoughts. Whether I'm free or occupied with stuff, I always think, dream about my thoughts, feelings and enjoy when my words gain visibility. I'm not any writer but recently I have fallen in love with writing and since then, this love is gaining momentum with every moment!! You can also read my blogs at : http://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/droplets-of-thoughts-of-a-mum-wife-woman-and-much-more http://sweetberriesoflife.blogspot.in/

7 thoughts on “Love after Kids- A lot can still happen

  1. I must congratulate you for writing a post on this topic. This generation of mothers is as it is obsessed about doing everything with perfection and thus more tired and exhausted. Romance and intimacy surely add to a lady’s mental health too.

    Like

  2. Lovely post…..many couples give up on the passion. I hear u so well on this post. We had the love going even after the kids. Every morning he would wake up early and spend time with the kids. I was allowed to sleep till 7. It takes two to tango, isn’t it?

    Like

  3. Nice post. One thing I would add to your list is the importance of travelling/ taking holidays together. Even it’s just once a year or just a weekend away; travel experiences are so refreshing and make family bonds even more tight.

    Like

  4. 3.5 yrs after having our son, I can say that the concept of love has evolved with the situation. It might not be about the crazy adventures or impromptu plans but it has become more about support, care and conversation. Well written piece.

    Like

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