Kids – How do children affect relationships?

First year of parenting, when the baby cry during the night; both the father and mother remain eager to calm the baby and put her back to sleep. Shopping for babies, changing their diapers, cleaning the poo; everything looks experimental, new and joyful. We feel like to discuss every single thing related to baby and enjoy the same conversations even with our friends and family. One year down the line or with one more kid, things begin to change dramatically. It’s not exciting anymore but a repetitive responsibility with a never-ending chaos; there is so much to do all the time without any reward but constant juggling about what went wrong or what turned out fine! And even before we can realize and sort one thing, we tend to feel a disconnect, conflict and argument happening around and sometimes even the minor discussions can turn out to be very ugly!

If you are a mother or a father reading (and nodding with the said lines); you guys know pretty well what I’m talking about here; yes the kids have the power to impact our marriages.

We might fake things when we post cute pictures of our babies on the social media, but as the night sets in and either of the partner is sleeping turning back on the other side, completely ignoring you and the wailing baby; you obviously feel stand-alone; and in some corner of your mind you might even feel why did I marry? And trust me we all go through this !

It’s a taboo to discuss with our elders, they come from a different generation where they seriously believe in having atleast 2 kids in the early years of marriage and then devote the entire life for them, no movie dates or couple trips, hangout at bar or sleeping in a different room and not with the kids. We might our parents to stay with us for while but still can’t say it upfront if we want to go out on a movie date with our partner or even spend some time alone; and this is what we usually hear:

“Honeymoon period is over, grow up”

” Now you are parents, have some maturity”

” Dress accordingly as per the new mom; you are no more a newly married young girl”

” Let her handle the child; you focus on your work”

“You guys have responsibilities now, there is time to everything”.

So basically you want a help but what you will usually receive are these un-solicited advises. Especially in a traditional Indian society in majority, we can’t freely talk about such things till the time situation really becomes worse and then also what we usually hear is the same lame ‘Gyaan‘ about how we should rather think about kids first before taking any wrong step; basically no counsel and no rescue !!

Hey I’m not blaming kids because as a mother of two young kids myself, I can’t express the joy post my motherhood but at the same time as a person seeking for love; I have experienced some weirdest situations that I never been before. At the end it’s still worth it, parenting is worthy every single day.

The previous day I spoke about being judged, then we also tend to judge mothers or parents when they want to openly talk about their marriages and the complete absence of any couple-time post kids. Because if they say even a word then people judge the parents to be extremely selfish, unhuman and careless. However even the studies have revealed how the children affects amarriage, and the results are conclusive: the relationship between spouses suffers once kids come along

So what usually parents do in such scenarios; they prefer to stay quiet and hide their emotions! Yes that’s true, you tell me? Even the young and unmarried people tend to tag married couple with kids as aunt and uncle. I mean there is some kind of haste in the society to promote parents with kids rather than letting them be lovers. But we laugh at such people, ‘hey look they have no shame, they have got kids; what they will think about it?’

And so we stop expressing our love towards each other…

Stay tuned as in my next stop, I will be talking about the most popular yet under-rated feeling: LOVE.


This blog is part of #BlogchatterA2Z challenge by Blogchatter, follow the hashtag to read more such stories based on the vivid themes by Bloggers:)

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Today I have started to live a new life. Today I aim to look beyond what's apparent and wish to explore a new world. Today I feel like to dive into an ocean of thoughts. Today I have realized that there was there was never any yesterday for me, its been always today!! My world encircles around my baby, biggy-baby (i.e my hubby) and my thoughts. Whether I'm free or occupied with stuff, I always think, dream about my thoughts, feelings and enjoy when my words gain visibility. I'm not any writer but recently I have fallen in love with writing and since then, this love is gaining momentum with every moment!! You can also read my blogs at :

5 thoughts on “Kids – How do children affect relationships?

  1. Lovely and very practical thoughts. We are yet to experience the state of parenthood but I could easily connect to your agenda. Our society does have a very disgusting habit of labeling and it takes courage to counter it through words and actions. Your views resonate the voice of young parents and would be quite helpful for a lot of them to break the barriers and take a stand.


  2. I felt as if you are penning down my feelings Aarti. We all go through the rough patches wherein we forget to show our love . We’re so bound by the “parent” tag. Would love to read the next post


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