HURT- Why we hold ourselves?

Why do people hurt and even then we stick to them? I have always heard that the ones who love us most, hurt us the most but then how it can be called love?

It was the summer of Year 2009, I had came to Gurgaon for my summer internship, my family friend had helped me to secure an internship with his organization for two months, that break very was important for my Master’s programme. Though the internship wasn’t paid but the break was superb and I was far too excited to stay all alone for the first time for the next two months. My cousin brother used to travel from his home-town that would eat almost 3-4 hours a day so he arranged my stay with one of his old college friend who happily allowed me to move-in at her studio apartment in the posh colony of Gurgaon.

The first impression I had her about was her beautiful smile and petite personality. She had mid-length hairs,dusky complexion and a contagious comfort about herself that totally intrigued me to know more about her; we even shared the common field of profession. Coming from the hill-city of Dehradun, that was the first time for me to know more about the metro-life because soon I was going to work at one such place. At the same time I had to present myself as liberal or non-sticky as possible as a MBA grad should look like. In few days to come, I behaved totally introvert and nerd; totally engrossed in my own work!

One evening when I came back home, I found a guy in our small room with her. That was her boyfriend, a good-looking tall guy but soon I realized he didn’t had any other identity. Before me, the guy used to stay at didi’s flat most of the time; I figured out quickly that he wasn’t working. In following days we three used to hang out alot, mostly all the evening and had fun. They both cared me equally, because they knew I will keep their little secret a secret forever. And ever since didi came to know about my long-distance relationship; she always seemed to be excited to know more about us. Maybe that was her way to rekindle her old days with her boyfriend, Akshay.

One month passed away and the more I got to know about her, I realized that she was far weaker than the stronger personality I had about her in my mind. From past two years she had been trying to convince Akshay to marry her but everytime he used to make some or other excuses; his three unmarried sisters were the main and best excuse for him.

He isn’t going to marry me‘; one day she said to me. I couldn’t understand a single thing that was on her mind. ‘I don’t even earn like hell or a charming girl like you are, why is he leeched to me; is he playing around for the time being or knocking for some other opportunity ‘, she continued.

It hurts to much that only I see a future, I hurts to much that there won’t be any future.

Myself being a complete lunatic didn’t said a word, because she was in the deep mess already. I just questioned myself how can she ever stay in a live-in relationship with a guy who isn’t sure to marry her? I stayed there for another month and in coming days I could see more darkness in her life, another shade of disappointment and a state of acute helplessness. I even watched her making excuses to her parents whenever they used to call her to meet a suitable guy they had been looking for her from the longest time now!

How can you allow someone to hurt you so much when you are actually in a good, comfortable and stable situation; I mean she had nothing to lose but even then she looked like a failure! She was earning good , got a promotion few months back and even arranged an interview for me; that implied that she had a respectable hold in her profession. She came from an affluent family and was highly educated but seeing her scared me when my boyfriend was working hundreds of miles away from me in a different city and barely had 15-20 minutes to talk to me. ‘What if he hurts me one day, will I be able to survive?’ I used to shiver!

After sometime my internship got over and I came back. I tried to keep in touch with didi but gradually we lost the touch. I saw her again after 5-6 years on her Facebook page but this time she has posted her few honeymoon pics. As I scrolled down, there was another guy in the pictures; deep in my heart I had guessed this already. But she looked happy and content.

Failures in our relationships aren’t signs that we must stay with them forever. Theses are the lessons to never let anyone hurt us because we’ve just one life to live and love.


This blog is part of the #a2zblogchatter challenge hosted by Blogchatter, stay tuned for more such posts

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Today I have started to live a new life. Today I aim to look beyond what's apparent and wish to explore a new world. Today I feel like to dive into an ocean of thoughts. Today I have realized that there was there was never any yesterday for me, its been always today!! My world encircles around my baby, biggy-baby (i.e my hubby) and my thoughts. Whether I'm free or occupied with stuff, I always think, dream about my thoughts, feelings and enjoy when my words gain visibility. I'm not any writer but recently I have fallen in love with writing and since then, this love is gaining momentum with every moment!! You can also read my blogs at :

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