This is me on the second day post my delivery, some 30 hours post my cesarean, when I managed to stand up for 5 mins. On the third day when I got discharged, even then I was no different and my pains – soares – ouchs everything was pretty evident in my dressing and looks. And, I have never seen any new mum with thick eyelashes and blow dried hair, all decked up at the time of discharge and smiling, as if giving birth is like cooking 2-minute Maggie noodles!
See, I’m not comparing and not even claiming of winning any battle (2 in my case), and I have also encountered normal deliveries in my family and their hard journey of pains and incisions.
PREGNANCY is not a CAKEWALK; not for any of the Mum on this planet Earth. Yes, but the glamour, media, and false expectations make it look like so!
As I was recovering on the hospital bed, an attendant came in and commented that the baby looks like me, but the baby’s father looks better than the mum (that’s me). In yet another case, another attendant commented about my tummy sag that how it still looks like I’m carrying a baby.
Guys, let me tell you that I have delivered in one of the top hospitals of the town, but just look at the comments people made or the false assumptions we have grown up with time. It’s not that I couldn’t reply to them, but actually, the initial days as a new Mum you go blank and can’t think or behave normally to even reply to such creeps, and the real fact is that it’s pretty NORMAL.
And, it’s completely normal to look devastated, disheveled hair, dry lips, engorged breasts, tummy sac, stretch marks, dark patches, dry skin, depressed mind, tired eyes, and no energy to survive. Because, this is what we all go through, and then slowly with the passage of time we emerge stronger and stronger. This is how we all sail through our motherhood journey.
I know we all want to look good because people don’t like to see our pictures or comment if we are not appealing. But, motherhood is a thoughtful decision, so accept that not only your life, but your body will undergo massive changes and it will take time for you to settle down with it.
There is no MIRACLE that will tone down your figure overnight. You can’t just feel extremely happy as a new Mum, you may have pregnancy blues, and postpartum depression and it’s completely OK. You may feel like to eat more and eat savory food items. LADIES, don’t suppress your thoughts and emotions. I have literally cried right after my operation and continued for days to come for no reason- for the simple reason that I wanted to cry!
Today, I’m nowhere in appearance to how I looked during my pregnancy days with that acute glow, bright face, cute big bulge, and shining eyes.
And though I like to feel good, but there were (and are) days when I don’t feel like to smile and behave normally. I get irritated upon my kids too and yell like hell; even though motherhood has bestowed me with the best moments of my life. I often turn gloomy about my scars, skin issues, bulge, and excess weight, but it will be stupidity if I think I can overcome it in a day; like Abracadabra…
And COMPARISON IS SO BAD GIRLS.
I tried it on myself, within two weeks I stepped out with my daughter for her friend’s birthday party. Even though I ate nothing there, I caught extreme Diarrhoea and had to be bed-ridden for 48 hours. My body wasn’t ready for the outing and I ignored it. So what; everyone is roaming out so why can’t I? It happened again with me in a week’s time. Then I realised that I need to regain my immunity and wait a little more!!
So, we as a woman have every RIGHT to nurture our body and absorb the new changes in our life, rather than stressing about how we look in the appearance. ACCEPT that you have turned into a lifeline for your precious and no matter what you are the most important human being for the tiny baby. So, give a DAMN to people’s imagination and focus on your life. How you can handle the baby, care for her, provide her adequate feed, and at the end get some sleep instead of justifying stranger’s expectations?
Don’t get smitten by the glamour, and leave something for the royalty only!
So next time as a new mum if you are still walking out in your maternity wear, it’s completely normal and REAL. Everything takes time; give it time and don’t run over it.