Why people mislead women about the second trimester as safe and happy period? Perhaps that’s how this phase is when nobody talks about the real-depth situations that a pregnant woman has to face. No miracle happens in the second trimester that overnight will shift someone to a comfort zone. It’s probably the adjustment in mind that you make with the occurring changes; which then turns out as a new normal for you.
And if its a second pregnancy, things turn upside down not just for you, but everyone around; something like this:
Your Mothers (yes both of them) believe that now you are strong enough to handle your situations and don’t bother much to come and meet you as you had delivered a child already and also successfully crossed the high-tension first trimester.
‘Humari Bahu/Beti ab samajhdaar ho gayi hai, she is capable of handling on own’.
Your hubby wants to play safe ( that he is being already), gets more busy with the work and if for heaven’s sake he has some time left then that automatically goes for the little toddler; whereas you have option to just daydream. ‘
You are my brave wifey, I know you can handle things well’.
Your maid will slow down in her routine work , she too believes you can handle your stuff on own.
‘I can take leaves, Didi had already crossed her morning sickness phase’.
And your little child, do I need to say more? ‘ Mom’s belly is growing, let’s check it out and bump on it; who can stop me now!!’
Seriously you have some luck if there is a babysitter or in-laws with you during this time. But without such support, I have my moments of cringing 24X7 because my toddler never wishes to slow down.. From the onset of our day till the time we freeze in bed, she wants me around fulfilling all her demands right from playing with her, picking her toys from every corner of the room, having an extensive bathtime, showing fussiness during mealtimes and so on.. But I can’t even blame my little girl, because I’m growing inch everyday; she isn’t! She ofcourse can’t understand what I’m going through so when I want to relax my muscles she thinks it’s my readiness to play another set with her!
As a 2nd trimester pregnant, God’s know when and why you start believing that you are completely fine to take the ownership of all the things and this really screws you up. Tied with your own belief the whole world shift its focus back to their own world and ultimately you are left out ; completely messed up.
Nobody takes you seriously ( including you yourself) during this time because you are constantly growing and thus ‘assumed fine’. The house is already prone with your sneeze, cough, ouch and uffs so the same tone of sounds doesn’t create any difference.
All the precautions that I took in the first trimester, I have kinda overwritten all the rules. I do carry my child now if she insists me, I don’t care about the right posture to bend down(off-lately I bend these days alot). I don’t mind standing for long in the kitchen, doing errands and taking ownership of each and everything happening around me… I myself state that I’m not tired, I can do this and don’t care If I get over-exhausted.
‘Second trimester hai, sab chalta hai’! But honestly speaking I guess I have over-filled my plate. So what to do:
- Slow down, ask for support! You have every right to..
- Take Mommy guilt out of your soul, you are not a superwoman. Few things can go wrong, some demands may go un-fulfilled, you can go angry sometimes; its all ok!
- Take rest, as much as you can. Last trimester is not going to be easy.
- Move out of the home, plan dinners or outings.
- Go for shopping, order online. Psychologically, these things boost up your spirits.
- Start your search for a maid or nanny or babysitter or japa maid in advance if you have to. Ask me: I’m panting already.
I would definitely have to slow-down, become a little dependent on others and before that happens I want to do everything on my own; proving to myself that I haven’t gone slow. I’m still strong and rising day by day. May be that will keep the things running with the same pace in the third trimester too!
You may also like to read what exactly happened in my first trimester, check it out:)