A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuses to give up on each other.
I have been knowing my partner for years now. The day we first met, I knew I was in love and few months later I decided to keep Karva Chauth fast. I was too naive about the religious aspects of this festival but I kept it because I wanted to. One year later, he gave me a chocolate bar and Bisleri bottle to have once I open the fast at home. It may sound funny to many but we cherish these moments. We had been in a long-distance relationship for many years and sometimes over the phone he used to tell me that he had kept a fast too. But that wasn’t something I expected from him and neither I’m sure that he actually kept the fast!
So coming back to the brigade who question about a woman’s feminism and equality on the grounds of having a Karwa Chauth, for me that’s an unhappy situation. It sounds similar to those who compare a mother’s competence on the basis of working and non-working quo.
Are we not living in the world where a woman is free to make her choices and live the way she wants to? For 364 days a year we fight for women’s injustice against the patriachal society and on the 365th day we target the fasting women that “Hey, it’s all happening because of you. You prove that you are submissive to the Man and hence responsible for your own plight”. Well perfect but this festival has a bigger picture apart from being ‘traditional’, ‘typical’ or ‘dynastic’.
Firstly it’s not mandatory or something to boast about. I know many friends and relatives who don’t keep the fast but equally love and care for their husbands. Those families who force their ladies to keep the fast are still lagging behind in many aspects so they really need sometime to grow up w.r.t. to the developing society.
Secondly this is not the festival to prove your love, it’s all about your own belief. My partner never expects me to keep this fast in order to prove my love to him. I can do this in ‘n’ number of ways. Moreover neither I expect any gift in return ( also I haven’t got any) as potrayed in many movies. Glamour is not necessary!
Thirdly, yes this festival is part of our tradition. We happily celebrate lavish destination weddings, designer lehengas, themed birthday parties, grandeur diwali celebration, Ganesh Pooja, Durga Puja, Navratri so what’s the harm with celebrating one more day of happiness? isn’t there fun in ethnic dressing, beautiful mehendis, decor and some moment of happiness?
Fourthly there is a day meant for husband and wife. And I do value Valentines Day so let there be another day where the busy couple get some time to hold each other’s hands, look into eyes and breath together.
There is a mythical story behind every festival that we reminisce on the respective day but If we are repeatedly celebrating any event, that’s because we also love to do it and not only because of the old story.
I simply want to say that we need to be mature enough to give space to people and not enforce them to follow something and if anyone wishes to celebrate any occassion it’s not a mature step to label the person as ‘anti-feminist’ or ‘old-fashioned’. Trust me this is not the day to justify it!
P. S. I’m not setting wrong example for my daughter. To me its about freedom to do what you love to do without fear of being getting judged and framed in someone’s ideology.