Right from the time I gave birth to my first child, I knew I wanted to be a mother again. As she progressed, my feelings got stronger and currently I’m 4 months shy from my second delivery and by the time my first child will be two and half years old! It’s a bit overwhelming situation for me with all sorts of opinions circling me.
Is it a planned or an un-planned pregnancy? I think you have planned a little early!
Good, you will be free soon with their Susu-Potty and can live your own life.
We can’t plan another child, but you are lucky…
Ok, so you wish for a boy this time
How will you handle both the child when their age difference is less?
It’s going to be tough; it’s going to be easy!
Your husband must be supportive in your decision…
Ok, so I have heard enough (mostly crap and idiotic) and I thought to share what’s actually cooking inside my four walls as my first trimester is now over. My second pregnancy doesn’t boast about any bravery, lunatic choices or sheer luck but a thoughtful consent between me and my husband and I believe this is how every pregnancy should take place- you choice. But this time, my little girl has a bigger role to play with us and I must say she is acting very sportingly.
And what else could I actually expect from my two year old girl. Till now she was getting full attention from me as her full-time, non-stop, energetic, playful, cheerful, partner-in-crime Momma and suddenly one day everything began to change!
As my husband used to leave for work, my morning sickness and constant nauseate ate everything and most importantly my patience. Daily chores and that wicked first trimester. You are cooking food for the child and at the same time you wish to puke. The time when my girl wanted to play (and she wants it all the time); I wanted to lie down. She wanted me to jump alongwith her and I could hardly put myself on two feet. And when she is sleeping, I wasn’t able to sleep due to heart burning and pains. My gynae told me not to lift her up and this was the last thing she expected from me. Till date I have been handling her without any support and this has kicked me really hard. My daughter is not yet susu-potty trained, she is the front-runner fussy eater and to top of it, she hasn’t started her school yet so whether do or die, shriek or cry, I had no escape.
Even people in my apartment noticed about my pregnancy quite early not because of my weight but because of the differences that were quite apparent… I could no longer carry her or handle her with tolerance. I wished to go back from the park before even being there with my girl. Trust me; handling a toddler with pregnancy is not easy. Ladies used to ask me how it’s going and every time telling them the full story felt like asking for mercy.
Sometimes I simply counted the days, May God help to fast-forward three months. But every passing day also brought a new confidence in me. That my decision is right and I’m doing well. Children will always need parent’s attention whether they are 2 year old or 5 or 10. With bigger gap, there will be bigger responsibilities and a large age difference to accumulate. Often I cried when I couldn’t handle things properly mainly while dealing with my daughter and that was the time my husband supported me by staying calm. He understood me and didn’t reacted when I outburst or yelled down. Yes, this is what you must expect from your partner and this is how the partner should support! And there is couple of things that helped me a little as I have now ventured into the fifth month of my journey:
- Keep your first child informed about your pregnancy. No she will not help you but repeatedly telling her will save your from at least 6 punches out of 10 and one day she will probably understand. My little girl cheerfully talks about ‘little baby’, ‘mamma’s tummy’ these days; enough to bring a little fun for me. . And yes those little kisses on my tummy like her blessings 🙂
- Expect little from your children, they are children and not adults. They will do mistakes, learn and repeat mistakes again!
- Forget about ideal parenting for few months especially when there is no additional help with you. Few more months in diaper, ready-made food, chocolates or TV will not bring major harm; and yes you know the limit very well.
- Everytime your child cries; don’t assume she is crying because of you. Its normal but yes don’t leave her unattended .
- When you are about to lose your patience, close your eyes and count to ten; ok count to atleast 3!
- Talk to your husband or friends. It doesn’t matter if they are interested in you but must heave out your frustrations.
- Be a little selfish in every matter. “Yes I don’t want to cook food; please order”. “Feed your child”. “Today you give her the bath”. “Put her to sleep; I’m tired”. “I’m sleeping, you play with her”.
What I have realized is that little things can really make big differences. Second pregnancy is not comfortable as first one was because at that time you were only cautious about yourself but in the later one you ought to be only careful about your child. But every time passes away and it’s eminent that you make second journey more beautiful.
You may also like to read about my tales of second Trimester:)