Few years back we were watching a movie together where the new daddy was going crazy everytime the little baby woke up.
Why is she crying??
Mommy : She is hungry.. You don’t know anything.
After 15 mins,
I know why is she crying. She is hungry.
Mommy: No, she is feeling hot. You really don’t know anything.
Again after 15 mins,
I definitely know why is she crying this time. She is feeling hot.
Mommy: No, she is feeling cold. You will never understand it.
I still remember the Dad’s face post this scene, like a lunatic creature. You might have guessed the movie’s name as well. The audience especially the couples mocked about how the life changes after baby and the Daddys are surely to feel cutout amidst Mommy-Baby bonding.
A big No!! Guys there is no science that proves that only a Mommy can bond with the Baby, you are the Baby’s better half too. Don’t lose your hopes before losing away your paternal instincts. The Baby equally needs a father as her mother. But since the mother becomes the gateway for the baby to come in this world, we often misunderstand the Dad’s value or If I correctly say, he himself downgrades his role. So as a father if you found yourself stuck and really want to know where to start with, I have poured few suggestions for you:
1.Firstly and foremost: Understand the new Mommy. She is anyways 9 months ahead of you so you need to acknowledge and value her efforts first. She is the one who has carried and brought the biggest happiness in your life. Accept it, she is the one who has to bear the stitches, pain, stress, anxiety, depression, body changes so what you can really do at this point: have patience and be with her! A perfect Daddy bonding begins with a pertinent husband-wife relationship.
2. Don’t miss out the doctor’s visit. If you don’t know the history, how will you frame the future?? It is one of the way to feel that you are also contributing, and are part of this pregnancy journey. You will get to know the crucial information, abnormalities if any and lots of valuable information about prenatal care.
3. Take the ownership: As a Mommy, the lady is already dwindling in the new responsibilities of feeding and sleeping. And due to her mood swings and body depression, she often resists to speak up clearly that she needs you. She wants you to be with her without being asked for. So next time when the baby wakes up in the middle of the night, take her in your arms; feel her warmth and pour the affection that she looks for a cozy sleep. There is no theory that only the mothers can make the babies sleep.
4. Behave Normally: Often the Daddys exaggerated their life after the baby in terms of less attention and care that they also need as a human. They get displeased at the lethargicness of their partner, instant cries of the newborn and the messiness spread in the entire home. “Why things can’t be normal as before ?“, “Why the baby isn’t sleeping? ” , “My laundry is undone and where is my breakfast?” Please accept mentally and emotionally that the life has changed,not just for the wife but for you too. Stop demanding the things that were pretty viable earlier beacuse things will take some time to re-settle in.So sooner you adapt to it and shell out your time to make it routine, better for everyone!
5.Parenting journey is a matter of time. You will be astonished to see how quickly the time passes by. From a newborn to infant and then toddler, you won’t be able to predict how quickly the babies grow up. So relax, make your move in whatever the portions you get to. And you never know in some time, the baby might run after you only.
My daughter will turn 2 next month. No matter she wants me around her all the time but she do has her special moments with her Dad; and in those moments she absolutely declines me. So the game of cuddles and wriggles keeps on fluctuating between me and my hubby. There is nothing to feel jealous about Mr. Daddy.
Being a father is paramount feeling. Much beyond than grabbing the perfect job, promotion,car, home or anything in the world. When a baby comes into someone’s life, the entire dynamics of the family changes. A perfect father can play a pivotal role in upkeeping the harmony in home and strength in your partner. Don’t assume that someone will ask you for the help, its your baby; do your part!