I won’t use any fictional characters ( just changed the names) to share my thoughts because in and around me, there are so many cases where a Woman has felt disheartened, hurt and left-alone. In this beautiful world where there is soo much need of love and happiness, why we fail to love those who are precious and valuable to us? Rather hurt them and close eyes over the situation and shamelessly confess that ‘she deserves it‘.
Shilpa doesn’t remember the last time her husband had hold her hands or hugged her. From past 15 years she has stretched herself completely, managing household work, raising children and taking care of the In-laws. She even completed her education and started to work to support financially and has never raised a voice nor made any complain. To conclude, she still hopes that her husband might look back at her to what she was before and how she has turned everything upside down. But do someone really cares for her, well the answer is still No. She has failed to figure out why the husband don’t want her.
Rama switched off her career post the birth of her first child. Being a soft-spoken and well educated girl, she knows well how to manage her family. Initially husband was receptive to the sacrifices that she had made but gradually things went for granted. With 2 chidren now, life has only worsened. How does it feel if you stay at home and your husband don’t talk to you for days? Reason you don’t know even if you ask mercily for it. You rely completely on the husband for finances beacuse you can’t work at the moment and husband playfully make you plead and become submissive to his arrogance. A man who is known as caring and behaved to the outer world but doesn’t know how to talk even a word of comfort with his wife? A sweet girl who took the entire responsibility of adjusting with his annoying and cunning parents and he being a ‘man’ warns her to go back to the parents house who gave the hands of their lovely daughter to him, Is this the reason a man is called a ‘Man’?
Often unmarried Men say that they don’t want to be trapped in marriage but when a woman says so, she is being labelled as ‘western’. In India there is so much hastiness for a girl’s marriage and its completely overlooked if the guy chosen is compatiable for their girl or not. A job and little money in hand is enough to fetch a good girl to obey her husband for life. And there is no escape from a husband who don’t care for you as long as there is food, clothes and shelter; everything is Ok!
A woman not always showers crocodile tears but she tries to expresses her emotions to the one labeled as her ‘bhagya- vidhata’ . But the ‘ wall of ego’ and ‘I can’t be wrong philosophy ‘ evaporates all her hopes and what remains is either a silence or suppression for life. .
See the issue I want to highlight is that why do we have ego in our heart but not love, why we bolster hatred in place of empathy for the ones with whom we spend our day and night. Just because he knows that the other partner will not quit marriage, instead of valuing her efforts;he disregards her and make her realize ‘you have a life because of me’. This attitude is utterly shameless. . .
Years before the guys used to receive formal tips from elders on ‘how to suppress your wife and keep her in control ‘ and even today we hear stuff like ‘show her who is the man’ or ‘don’t be a zoru ka gulam’ . But we forget that expressing love and respect are the two most important basics of a married life.
A successful marriage inculcates 2 happy souls and later give birth to a happy childhood. Before venture into outer world, these tiny creatures peek into their little nest and watch their parents. I’m sure you may not want to spoil beauty and equality of their thoughts. So before you ought to be a good parent, be a good partner first . .